There’s a moment from when I was about fifteen years old that I didn’t talk about for decades. During the chaos surrounding my mother and step-father’s divorce, my mother once threatened to put my sister and me into the car and drive us all off a bridge. That wasn’t the…
Been rereading Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, and one line hit me harder than it ever has before: he says cPTSD healing often looks like three steps forward, two steps back — and that grieving a lifetime of trauma commonly takes 2–3 years. I don’t know who…
I was raised in an extremely conservative expression of Christianity — the Church of Christ. I’m not here to bash that tradition. There are good people there.Sincere people.Faithful people. But inside my family system, church didn’t feel like refuge. It felt like performance. Who I Thought I Was Performing For…
After Thanksgiving dinner this year, sitting across from my sister and her husband, something landed in me that I hadn’t fully named before. I watched the way they moved around each other — the subtle ease, the quiet partnership, the shared language that only years of safety can build. And…
Once Your Nervous System Has Tasted Safety, The Old Triggers Move at Relativistic Speeds For a long time, I couldn’t understand why re-engaging with my mother in 2019 hit me so much harder than it ever had before. I’d already survived decades with her.I’d already been through multiple recovery attempts.I’d…
There’s a part of the Missouri story I don’t talk about much — not because it’s dramatic or explosive, but because the shame around it lingered long after the dust settled. It’s the part where my daughter told me she was pregnant. November 13th, 2023. I remember where I was…
—a reflection on my first “accidental” no-contact break Most people assume my No Contact journey started in 2024, when the truth finally blew the doors off my life. But in reality, the first crack in the system happened years earlier—long before I knew what narcissism was, long before I had…
What It’s Like Talking to a Narcissistic Parent After You Finally See the Truth There’s a strange and disorienting phase that happens after the moment of “unmasking” — the point where the narcissistic parent you’ve known your entire life suddenly becomes transparent. For me, that moment arrived on Mother’s Day…
There’s a moment from my daughter’s wedding that keeps resurfacing in my mind — not because it ruined the day, not because it carried malice, but because it revealed something deep about how invisible trauma can be to people who haven’t lived through it. During the rehearsal, I met the…